pregnancy ants in my maternity pants

I'm thinkin' this weekend would be a really good weekend for baby to show up. 
Juan has 4 days off (YES!) and it would just be so convenient to have her arrive during his mini-vacation period. 
However, I am not ignorant of the fact that babies are instinctively pro's at doing what's most inconvenient. So, a part of me expects she won't make her grand entrance this week. 
We'll see! 


Earlier today I played the part of a 38 1/2 week pregnant superwoman and walked my way over to the grocery store to buy a few things I need to take with me to the hospital, plus some veggies and fruit, and bread. (I love bread, folks. I will one day learn how to bake fresh bread and happily stuff myself with it all. the. time, unless my post-pregnancy metabolism can't handle it. Then I'll just have to be miserable and only eat it once in a while.) 
So, I'm in the beauty supply aisle (it's probably not called that, but who cares... y'all know what I mean) and I realized that it takes me a ridiculous amount of time to make a SUPER simple decision. 


I mean, here I was looking for some lotion and toiletries, and I literally had to stand there and twist open a million caps and smell each and every one, and compare the prices, and wonder if I should buy the fragrance-free stuff or the fragrance-filled stuff, and literally drive myself insane. Why? Why must I be so choosy? 
Same thing happened last night. 
I finally decided to pack a mommy & baby bag (and a little bit of a daddy bag) for the hospital... and I had to choose something for the baby to come home in. I didn't wanna choose something too cute because that would be a waste of a really cute outfit, and all she'd be doing was going straight from the hospital and right into our apartment. I also didn't wanna choose something too plain because I do want her to look cute on her way home. . . so I was trying to find an in-between outfit. . . and I had to do this for both the newborn size and the 0-3 month size because we don't know exactly how much she'll weigh. 

via.

I found myself sitting in front of her closet, looking through everything, unfolding and refolding a bagillion onesies and trying to find the perfect thing. I finally called my husband over because my body was starting to ache and I couldn't take it anymore. I figured he'd make it way easier because he definitely wouldn't be as choosy. 
I was right about him not being choosy, but wrong about it becoming easier. 
I pretty much declined everything he chose until he started getting frustrated and told me I was being ridiculous. Then I just grabbed the very first thing he suggested and told him, "Okay, fine. She'll wear this. It's not even that serious. Ugh. I just want her to look cute! But not too cute!" 
I then proceeded to laugh at myself because I realized that I was indeed being ridiculous. 
I'm telling you, I am way over-the-top these days. 
I fully blame it on my raging pregnancy hormones. They are making me insane. 
My husband tells me all the time, "You need to just relax. Sit down, put your feet up and relax. Stop cleaning... stop organizing.... stop thinking... just listen to some music or something."


I have a hard time relaxing. 
I have pregnancy ants in my maternity pants. 
So, ladies, today after driving myself nutso in the beauty supply aisle, I decided to come home and do nothing. Just sit and watch a few reruns on Netflix and do absolutely nothing. 
It's turned out well thus far... 
except later I'll have to finish packing the mommy/baby/little bit of daddy bag. 
We'll see how it goes this time around! 

A laugh, a snore, some swell talk, + a few thank yous.

1. "You know, you look kinda cute with your face all pregnant swollen."
2. " You were snoring pretty bad last night, babe."
3. "Your laugh is kinda cute now that you're pregnant."


These are 3 thoughts my husband shared with me yesterday and I, of course, felt I should share these things with the world.
I've definitely noticed my face has been a tad bit swollen, but for some reason didn't think he had noticed too. He obviously has and as weird as it sounds, I'm flattered that he likes my swollen face.


Now, the snoring thing. . . .
I can't pinpoint the reason why, but for the last week or so I've had a bit of an issue with snoring. During a nap earlier today I experienced a rude awakening (to the sound of my own snore.) Ugh.
Anyway, I noticed I snore when I'm laying on my back.
I never fall asleep on my back, because that position is nowhere near as comfortable as it once was, and it does affect your breathing and overall blood circulation during pregnancy. Yet, I can't help but end up on my back at certain points throughout the night. Pair that with a stuffy nose (another preggo symptom that I've heard is pretty popular amongst the ladies) and voila! You just can't help but snore like a pretty little piglet.


And about my laugh-
It has changed drastically.
Before pregnancy it was a blend between Julia Roberts's loud laugh and a hyena-like sound. 
Now it's way more normal. . . and although Juan won't openly admit it, he likes my laughter better now than he did before. 
I know this because he's made a whole lot of comments such as the one above. He keeps telling me my laugh is cute, and when I respond with,  "Oh, so does that mean you can't stand my normal laugh?" he just smiles. 
I don't blame him. I think my laugh is way better now too. 
This is my theory on why my laugh has changed: Now that there's a baby in my belly I have way less free belly space to build up the pressure that I normally release into laughter. The limited build-up space makes for a much more pleasant laughing sound. 
I wish I could keep it forever. {sigh} Life is so hard.

{A random photo to dress up this otherwise naked post.}

Anyway, last week three lovely ladies came over (on separate days) to help me clean and organize our apartment. I already thanked my husband's sister, Danielle... but I'd like to publicly thank my baby's godmother, Andrea (whom I affectionately call by her middle name, Nicole) as well as Zenaida (the girl who put together my baby shower.)
These ladies helped me SO much. Their very presence was enough to give me the boost of energy I needed to get a bunch of random household tasks done. It is such a blessing to have women in your life who are willing to go out of their way to help out in any way they can. I'm surrounded by these kinds of women, and I am extremely grateful. (This would include my mother-in-law who has accompanied me to each of my doctors appointments within the last 3 months or so. . . and all the women who took me to my appointments before her.) I don't have my own car yet, so I have to rely on others, and thankfully I have not had a problem doing so. 


Lastly, I'd like to thank those of you who have taken the time to write encouraging comments and send me emails for the sole purpose of encouraging me. I seriously appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. I've been very open about expressing how I've felt throughout the course of my pregnancy, and I'm so thankful to have you ladies cheering me on. I'm glad you can be excited right along with me, and show your concern when i've had a bad day. It really does mean a lot to me to be able to share this experience with you, and I appreciate every prayer, every uplifting word, and every bit of enthusiasm you pour into the comments you leave on my posts. 


I'm grateful for you! 
Thank you!!

Memory Monday {Pt. iii} The Ceremony

As I put this post together I thought to myself, "Wow. Little did I know that just a month or so after walking down the aisle I'd be facing another major milestone: pregnancy." 

In my heart I've always considered both marriage and pregnancy to be the two goals that would make me feel most satisfied in life. When people would ask me, "What do you see yourself doing in the future?" In my heart I'd answer: "Being a wife and a mom, and loving it" but from my mouth would come a very general response, according to what I thought I'd become at that point in time: A nurse, a teacher, an editor, etc. 

These days God has blessed me with the opportunity to be a housewife/stay at home mom. 

I don't use the word blessed lightly. 

I consider it a privilege and a blessing to be able to stay home and dedicate my time to keeping up with all the things that would otherwise be overlooked. I consider it a major blessing to know that I'm not on maternity leave and I don't have to return to work when the baby is just a few months old. 

There are ups and downs to every stage of life, and being at home isn't always peachy keen, 

but it's still a blessing. 

My life took a major turn for the best when I walked down that aisle, 

and I know it'll only get better. 

"The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, shining ever brighter till the full light of day."

-Proverbs 4:18

[For part 1 of this marriage series, look here.]

Oh so swollen!

Earlier today I found myself wandering through shoe aisle after shoe aisle, hoping and praying I'd find a pair of sandals that would fit me. 
My feet and ankles now have a mind of their own, and it ain't pretty. 
They started to swell last Sunday, so it's been about a week now. On Monday, during my 37 week appointment, my doctor suggested I not wear strappy sandals like the ones I had on. "These are the only ones that fit me right now," I explained. "I have no other options."
She suggested I invest in a pair of new sandals, even if it meant wearing them for only a few weeks. 
So, today, a week later, enough became enough. 
After a week of my friends and loved ones glancing at my tootsies and saying, "Oh you poor thing!" I finally decided it was time to get out there and find a pair of sandals that wouldn't choke the life out of my swollen feet. 
Easier said than done. 
I ended up buying a pair of Converse. We came across zero sandals (including flip flops) that fit me well. Everything was either way too tight or way too wide. There was no happy medium. 
The Converse, in one size bigger than my norm, were the only things that worked. 
So, I had to get 'em. Beggars can't be choosers... not that I have anything against Converse ... I just didn't think I'd be buying a pair today. 
Thankfully I was with my loving husband who thought it'd be funny to post a photo of a pair of tropical foofy sandals on Facebook and caption it, "Becky's new kicks!!!"

He's such a doll.
He's lucky I love him.


PS
A special thank you to my sister-in-love who came over this morning to help clean and organize. (This nesting momma is so grateful for you, Danielle!) Best part-- she brought us a roll of toilet paper. Yes, one single roll, and it saved our lives. Random, I know, but we had run out of that precious stuff (you never realize how valuable toilet paper is until you find there's none left. Inconvenient is not the word.) So, our sister saved the day! We love you, Danielle!! =)

What's New?

Every day I wake up and wonder, "Will today be the day?"
And every night I fall asleep thinking, "I guess not."

This whole waiting for baby thing is way beyond the childhood excitement of waiting to open gifts on Christmas morning, way more thrilling than the thought of being handed that paper document that states you've finally earned your college degree, and way more intense than the eager expectation you feel just a few days before you walk down the aisle.

Waiting for a baby is a game of patience.
It means taking tons of deep breaths and telling yourself, "It's gonna be okay. It'll go smoothly. God is in charge."
It also means having your heart skip beats every once in a while at the thought of holding your very own baby in your arms for the very first time.
It's a BIG deal.
A major BIG deal.

so, here I am, waiting. . .
and experiencing an occasional 5 minute emotional breakdown during which I cry and my husband rubs my back and tells me it'll all be over soon and it'll all turn out alright.

And the baby? Well, she's happy as a clam in there. During the ultrasound it was confirmed that she has indeed made my ribcage the resting spot for one of her tiny feet, which completely explains the soreness I constantly feel in that area. I massage her foot every now and then to get her to move it, but right back up there it goes. She knows what she likes and she goes for it. =)

I love her and I'll never regret all the emotional/mental/physical challenges I've faced during this pregnancy.
It hasn't been the worst pregnancy ever, but it's been such an adjustment for me. . .
Still, just give me some time and i'll be ready to do this all over again if it means having another little one to call my own.

The faces we make:

Have you ever been in a restaurant and noticed the chemistry sparks (or lack thereof) between all the different couples in different age groups/stages of life?
You have the girlfriends who giggle and smile at their boyfriends, while their boyfriends smirk and flirt back at them. 
Then you have the engaged couples who still have that spark, but in a more mature/experienced way. Not much giggling but definitely a whole lotta talking and smiling. 
Then there are the young married couples who still look like they're enjoying each other's company; they talk, they laugh, they smile, they eat. It's all good in their hood. 


Then there are those older married couples. . . 
{CRICKET :::::::::::::::::::::: CRICKET}
They kinda just sit there in silence and don't even make eye contact. 
{CRICKET :::::::::::::::::::::: CRICKET}
They stare past each other while taking bite after bite of their food. 
{CRICKET :::::::::::::::::::::: CRICKET}
Most of them look miserable. 
It's pretty depressing to watch. 


Well, Jon and I never wanna be that older married couple. 
Do you?
I hope not. 


As of right now we're still newlyweds, and when we go out to eat I almost always end up giggling while Jon flirts with me. We laugh, we talk, we stuff our faces, we enjoy each other. . . and (I must not forget) we make weird faces. 
Allow me to share a few of the pictures we've taken throughout the course of our relationship, while eating out:

And when our little girl is 4 years old and mommy & daddy take her out for lunch, this is pretty much what people will see when they look over at our table.
(Who needs crayons and scrap paper when they have a funny tio [uncle] to keep them entertained?)

Moral of this post:
We don't know how to act in public. 
We look forward to keeping our goofy nature alive for the rest of our lives, because no one wants to be just like those miserable older married couples, right?


". . . the Joy of the LORD is [our] strength."
                                    -Nehemiah 8:10

Question and Answer time!

Hey pretties and gentlemen!

Today I'm linking up with Leigh Ashley for a bit of Wee Bit Wednesdays Q&A.

(Yes, I do realize it's technically not Wednesday yet. Live a little!)

{one} what's your guilty pleasure tv show?

Hate to admit this BUT right now it's reruns of The City. Some days I'm turned off by it (so I end up turning it off midway through the episode.) Some days I sit there and try to figure out why/how anyone would wanna live that kind of life. . . and most days I thank God I never had the opportunity to be a rich kid living in a big city. I'll pass, thanks. All in all, it's entertaining. 

{two} ear piercings on men: yes or no?

It depends on the man. Some men can get away with it while others should probably stay away from it. 

{three} do you have dish or comcast?

None of the above. We're an internet-only household, so we don't need either. 

We use At&t, which I'd never recommend by the way. 

Our internet connection is almost always sucky. 

Thanks, At&t!

(Had to throw that in there.) 

 

{four} what's your favorite current fashion trend?

Spandex. They have saved my pregnant life. Without them I'd be stuck wearing uncomfortable jeans all the time.  

 

{five} if you could learn to do anything, money not being an issue, what would it be?

Professional hair & makeup.

 

{six} red or white wine?

Neither. Not into wine. Sparkling Cider, please. 

 

{seven} what type of food is your favorite (ex. italian, mexican, etc.)

Almost everything and anything Italian. Yummm!! Pasta holds a very special place in my heart. 

 

{eight} hp or mac?

MAC. If I had the $$$$ I'd go out and purchase one of my own right. now. 

My husband has one and he shares. 

That's why I love him. 

For his MAC. 

Kidding!!

 

{nine} what color is your bedroom?

We live in an apartment complex where we're not allowed to pain the walls. BLAH.

So, they're just off-white. 

Not horrible, but not my personal preference either. 

 

{ten} what's your favorite form of exercise?

Walking. 

It's the easiest and most convenient thing to do. 

Zumba would come in second. 

(LOVE to dance!)

Then pilates. 

Sleep, or a lack thereof. (+ a 37 wk ultrasound)

Last night I was able to sleep way better than I've slept in what seems like for-e-ver.

I noticed that I sleep better when I'm alone in bed. (How inconvenient.)

My sweet sweet husband offered to sleep on the couch last night, so I'd be more comfortable

but I wouldn't let him. 

So, this morning, when he left for work, I cozied up with my pillow friends and got some good zzz's in. 

Three hours later, upon awakening, I felt refreshed and renewed. 

Front view:

Lately, throughout the night I've had to get up every hour and a half to waddle over to the bathroom. 

It's not your typical I-gotta-go-potty feeling; 

it's a life or death must. go. potty. now feeling.

It's all because baby's head is bearing down on my pelvis and my body is responding. 

Pretty good news, however uncomfortable it may feel. 

This means she's ready, Freddy!

These are what you call bags under the eyes: 

I'm sure i'll have many bags-under-the-eyes days in the near future. 

Sidenote: I had my 37 week (and 2 day) appointment yesterday.

Nothing major. Just a doctor who finally had nothing to say about my weight gain

and a quick check up to make sure things were going smoothly. Very uneventful, just how I like it. 

Then, I had an ultrasound in the evening. 

Juan was the first to note that baby girl has my lips. 

There was no way in the world I could disagree on that one. 

Her lips are pretty darn mommy-like. 

Looked like she had them puckered up and ready for kisses. 

(Wait! NO kisses 'til the age of 35!)

Aside from that, she just looked like your typical smooshed up newborn who doesn't have enough room to spread out anymore. 

The ultrasound tech kept telling us, "Don't worry, she'll be a lot cuter than this in person,"

as if she needed to comfort my heart. 

I was totally undisturbed. All newborns look weird in the belly and look like little swollen alien

 creatures when they're first born. 

Then some get cuter, and some don't. 

We'll see what happens with ours. =)

It was a special day because it was the first time my husband was able to come to one of my appointments and the perfect day for him to be there too, because he got to see his smooshed up, puckered up, little baby girl. 

We love her more than words can say. 

PS. 

I would like to thank the person who created Chef Boyardee's canned spaghetti & meatballs. 

I've been craving it like crazay, and it makes my tummy quite happy. 

precious baby words, and cankles.

Hello, friends and familia!

First off, here's a photo update of me. 

Yes indeedy, i'm still preggo. =)

I do realize today is Memory Monday, and I do also realize that last week I completely forgot to post the 2nd part of my wedding series. I was frustrated when I realized that it totally slipped my mind, but you know what? it's A Okay! 

If you were in my shoes, you'd totally understand why I have a hard time remembering things these days. If you were in my shoes you'd also have pretty swollen sausage toes and the whole cankle look goin' for you... and you'd be grateful it's summertime because there'd be no way in the world you'd be able to fit those puppies into some normal closed shoes or your average pair of sandals. 

It's flip flops or nothin' for me! The interesting part is, I've always had to buy the more narrow sized flip flops because my feet are narrow when they're not swollen, SO I currently have no shoes (open or closed) that fit me well. 
In other words, just be grateful you're not in my shoes. Ha.

(Yes, my feet have flip flop tan lines. Don't be jealous)

Today I obviously didn't forget about part 2 of my series ("The Ceremony") but I have other, more important things to share. 

Things like the beauty of simplicity. 

Last night we drove out to spend some time with a few of my husband's closest friends and their lovely wives. 

Jon's godson, Enoch (who's just starting kindergarten today. Yay, Enoch!) always asks me, "Nina Becky, when's your baby comin' out of your belly?" 

(For those of you who don't speak spanish, "nina" is short for "madrina" which means godmother.) 

That question and, "What are you gonna name her?" are the top two questions that little kids ask me. I always give them the answer to the first, but to the second my response is always, "I can't say... It's top secret!" 

Jon and I decided to keep our baby's name a secret that we'll share the day she's born. It'll make the day of her birth a little extra special. 

Anyway, we spent quality time with them all evening. 
When it was time to go home I took a precautionary trip to the potty before heading out the door. 

The boys' bedroom is by the bathroom and although they should have been sleeping at that point, only one of them was. Enoch was wide awake. As soon as he saw me heading out of the bathroom he called to me from his top bunk in his loudest whisper, "Nina Becky! want me to pray for you and your baby?" 

I made my way into their dark bedroom and whispered, "Yes! pray for me and the baby."

He closed his eyes and I just stared at him with a smile on my face, knowing that God must've been smiling too: "Father God, bless Nina Becky and her baby in her belly. Please protect Nina Becky so no bad guys will break her belly and steal her baby. Keep Nina Becky and her baby safe. In Jesus name, amen."

"Thank you, baby," I told him and gave him a kiss on the forehead. 

In that moment I was reminded that God delights in the simplicity of children. They don't question things the way we do. If they're taught to pray to a God they can't see, they just simply believe He's real and He hears them. 

For me to watch his serious little face as he prayed was such a blessing. 

It made me look forward to praying with my little girl. 

It made me appreciate the beauty of prayer.

It reminded me of all the times my mom would grab me by the hands (something she still does to this day) and say, "Let's pray." 

Mother and child prayers... Nina and Enoch prayers... baby prayers in baby words... 

Sometimes some of us feel insecure because we think we don't know how to pray. 

We compare ourselves to other people who seem so much better than us because they use cooler sounding vocabulary words. 

We think God hears them more because they're smarter or because they have a closer relationship with God. 

Lies!

Who's to judge how you sound when you pray? 

You're not talking to anyone else but God. 

God inclines his ear to both the uneducated and the educated, the experienced and the inexperienced, the baby and the adult. 
He listens.

We should learn to let go of our insecurities and pray wholeheartedly, even if it comes out in baby words. 

Don't be so harsh on yourself. 

Just pray. 

"Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD." 
                                                                                  -Psalm 139:4

About how I feel. . .

Wanna know how it feels to be 9 months preggo?

(Or maybe you already know how it feels but you need to know that there are other women who can indeed feel your pain!)

If that's you, then go check out my guest post over at Mama and the Dudes today.

Mandey is a very real, very awesomeful mommy blogger who just so happens to be parenting a pair of the most adorable twin boys ever. 

Check out the post, check out her blog

THEN

 have a fab rest of your Friday!

What type of crier are YOU?

Last night my husband and I had a sorta in-depth conversation about the way different people cry. He was watching an episode of one of his favorite shows (Numbers) and he paused it and pressed rewind just so I could watch one of the characters cry. "That has got to be one of the ugliest cries I've ever seen," he said with total conviction. 
Although his comment was not directed towards me, I felt a sudden overwhelming urge to defend myself: "Baaabe, that's not right! I'm an ugly crier!"
"Yeah, you're right. You are," was his way-too-quick response. 
With that I slapped him. .  . on the arm. (C'mon ladies, get your heads outta the gutter. I don't smack my husband in the face. We are a LOVING couple.)
"Babe!! That's just wrong! You're not supposed to agree with me!"
"No, I was joking, sorta. You're beautiful. . . you just make funny faces when you cry sometimes." He then proceeded to mimic several facial expressions I almost always make while bawling. 
I had to laugh. 
He was only telling the truth, in the nicest, most honest way possible. I really am an ugly crier. My face does all these weird involuntary contortions when the tears start to flow. I really can't control it; when I cry my face takes on a mind of its own. I've checked my crying self out in the mirror and it ain't pretty. Most times I try not to go to the bathroom and wash my face while I'm still crying because the ugly crier I see staring back at me makes me feel even more sorry for myself. 

So, folks, I'd like to know who's in this Ugly Crier Club with me?
Please don't tell me I'm the only one. 
I'm sure there are plenty of you who are cute criers. 
(You know, those of you who sniffle and tear and look like cute little sad puppy dogs while you bawl... yeah, you...be grateful for your pretty cry.)
But there's gotta be some ugly criers out there who can make me feel better about my sad predicament. 
So, if you're an ugly crier and you're not ashamed, then make some noise in the comment box! 


Have a great Friday! 
(And If you happen to cry over the weekend, make sure you steer clear of any and all mirrors. You just might make it worse for yourself!)

Our cloth diaper adventure will begin in 5... 4... 3... 2...

After plenty of research (and reading multiple posts by amazing mommy bloggers) we've decided to take on the challenge of going the cloth diaper route. 

Wooohooo!!!

Okay, so maybe it's not gonna be that exciting, but i've heard tons of great things about it and while doing some research I discovered that my mom used cloth diapers with my brothers. She said it was no big deal. Just use 'em and wash 'em . . .  and she washed hers by hand. God bless that woman!

That alone made me put on my big girl pants and say, "I wanna be like my mommy!" 

So, folks, once baby's around 8 lbs (maybe right when she's born) we will begin our cloth diapering adventure. I've already ordered a nice little stash from Bum Genius (the brand that most mommy bloggers rave about) and I'm really looking forward to doing this. It's something that I never even considered an option until I actually took the time to give it some thought. 

So, what we'll most likely end up doing is use disposables at night / while far from home and use the cloth diapers during the day when we're home or running mini-errands. It should turn out totally fine, and in the end it'll be worth all the money we'll save. 

I'll definitely be blogging about it in the future. Some days I may question whether or not I was sane when I made this decision, but I have a feeling I won't regret it at all. 

If my mom (a very straight forward woman with a very limited amount of patience) could do it, then so can I goshdarnit!

Have any of you gone the cloth route with your babes? If so, please share any tips/advice! 

A and A

During pre-marital counseling, our pastor let us in on a little secret that he shares with all of the newlyweds that enter his office. (We actually received counseling in his dining room, but that's besides the point. haha.)  He told us that it was of utmost importance that Jon & I make it a point to vocalize both our admiration and appreciation on a consistent basis.

Have we done this?
No. Not consistently at least.
And what we've found is that it's such a breath of fresh air when one of us actually takes the time to verbally express our gratitude, our love, our passion for the other.

It really makes all the difference in the world to hear those A&A words leave the mouth of your beloved.
Our pastor had us do this in front of him during one of our counseling sessions, and it was surprisingly kind of difficult. The point he was trying to make was that it's SO easy to focus on the negative aspects of your relationship and never take the time to notice the amazing aspects of your relationship with your significant other/spouse.
So, we sat there, on the carpet right outside of our pastor's bathroom, and awkwardly went back and forth (each of us expressing 5 things that we admired or appreciated about the other) while he gave his daughter a bedtime bath. Our pastor is the master of multitasking.

I encourage all of you to take the time for a bit of A&A with your significant other/spouse.
It can only produce good things if done with sincerity.

And I will take advantage of this opportunity to do the same:

Babe,

{1} I admire your hard work ethic. I admire the way you get up at the crack o' dawn every morning, put together your own lunch (man, am I spoiled) and head out the door to provide for your family. You are a great example of what it means to be a hardworking man and I appreciate you for that.

{2} I appreciate the way you call me "Pretty lady" or "hot mama" or "beautiful" when I'm just waking up in the morning. We both know I look a hot mess some mornings... other mornings I wake up looking halfway decent... but no matter what I look like, or how groggy I feel, or how much my body aches, you always call me beautiful. . . I truly appreciate that. My heart soaks those words in every single time they leave your mouth.

{3} I admire the way you interact with your friends and acquaintances. You do so with so much more ease than I do. You have a way with giving people your full attention during a conversation, even if only for a few minutes, and I really like that about you. It shows that you actually care about others and want to hear what they have to say.

{4} I appreciate the way you offered to make dinner for me a few nights ago. My heart rejoiced when I realized you wanted to take over in the kitchen. I had absolutely no desire to cook. at all. The food was delicious and I enjoyed being able to get other things done while you prepared the meal.

{5} I admire your ability to say "I'm sorry" so soon after we argue. I have yet to reach the point where I can ask for your forgiveness right away. I'm really good at stubbornly refusing to immediately apologize, and you're really good at stubbornly refusing to bear a grudge. I've been able to learn so much from you when it comes to recovering from rough patches in our relationship, and I know our marriage will always benefit from your desire to kiss and make up.

I love you, babe.

Bonus point of admiration:
I am ever appreciative of your ultra high level of rugged hotness. {drool.} Thank you, God, for my handsome man!

Where'd she go?

Some days I stop and wonder where the little me went. Once upon a time, I vividly remember looking down and seeing scrawny, bruised covered legs. (The bruises weren't from beatings, thank the Good Lord. Instead, they were from falling and bumping into things. Typical kid stuff.)
Now, when I look down, all I see is a whole lotta belly.
Where did that little girl go?

In just a month I'll turn twenty-six, but sometimes, on the inside I still feel like that vulnerable, shy, innocent 5 year old girl who was untouched by life in so many ways.


These are the types of things I think about while sitting in the doctor's office, undressed from the waste down, covered by a disposable sheet and waiting for Doctor H. to check things out way down under. "This is gonna feel like I'm trying to reach up and touch your tonsils," she says as she slips on a pair of sterile gloves. "Oh, that's great!" is my sarcastic response.
She wasn't lying. . . and I'm thinking I may have a high tolerance for pain because all I did was wince and say in a very matter-of-fact way, "Wow, that really hurts."
"I'm sorry," she said.
Then she told me all the juicy details: "The baby's head is pretty low and let's see. . . {this is where I think she touched my tonsils}. . .  Wow, your cervix is definitely softening."
"Why couldn't my cervix be lower?" I asked her.
She just laughed.
"If I'm feeling this kind of pain now, with just your finger down there, then I can't even imagine how it's gonna feel to give birth."
"Oh, you'll be fine. You're gonna do great!" She "reassured" me.


Pretty easy for her to say when I'm the one who'll be feeling the contractions.


After feeling around my belly (on the outside, thank heavens) she tells me it feels like I'll be having a smaller baby.
"Then again," she says, "from my experience taller women hide their baby's pretty well."
I hope my daughter's smaller, for my sake.


Overall the visit went well. I've gained 40 pounds. Not too shabby. I expect to have gained 45 pounds by the time baby arrives.


Pretty soon I'll have my own little baby girl to hold.
And one day, if God so permits, she'll find herself sitting in her doctor's office, staring down at her baby belly and wondering where those bruised legs went...
Nostalgia will hit her for a moment, followed by an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the miracle of pregnancy and the absolute blessing of becoming a mom.

no shame in my hand-me-down game

How many of you grew up in a household where the usage of hand-me-downs was inevitable?
I did, and I'm grateful. 

Top bought in 2nd hand store in Berkeley pre-preggohood. Oh so comfy both with & without belly!

I learned the art of using/wearing hand-me-downs from my mom. She grew up with 5 brothers and sisters: 3 boys and 3 girls. 
To this day she gladly accepts her sisters' hand-me-downs and wears them proudly. (It helps that her sisters have great taste in clothing. They dress my mom well!)


I had no older sisters while growing up, but I did have a bunch of female cousins and our church bazaar. 
I can't tell you how many things I've bought (for as little as 25 cents) and have worn from our church bazaars while growing up. My mom will still buy something from the bazaar for me if she thinks I'll like it. One of my most comfortable maternity tops came from a bazaar. My mom bought it for me a few months before I got married and told me to save it for pregnancy. 


Some people aren't comfortable with hand-me-downs, and they have their reasons. I've had women tell me, "I don't think i'll ever wear something someone else has worn. It just sounds gross to me. I'll never shop in a second-hand store!"
While I can understand where they're coming from (not everyone practices good hygiene and you never know who wore what when you shop in a second-hand location) I personally don't feel the same. There's a solution to the "gross factor". Buy whatever you like, give it a good wash (or take it to the dry cleaners, accordingly) and you're good to go!


Others have a pride issue about hand-me-downs. They won't admit it, but they feel like they're above using something that's been used before. 
I can't understand that thinking because I was raised to appreciate things of good value, whether they've been used or not. 


What helps is that I have a husband who understands me in this. 
We both truly enjoy shopping in second-hand stores and we've both found some awesome things during our shopping ventures. I think it's great that we live super close to Berkeley, where thrift shopping is one of the most popular things to do. It fits us perfectly. 


Now that I'm pregnant God has blessed me with a handful of amazing girlfriends who have each approached me and asked if I'd be willing to accept their baby's clothing/shoes/bouncer/bassinet/etc. 
My answer is always, "Of course! Send it my way, girl! I have no problem with hand-me-downs."
Just recently I purchased a beautiful antique wooden highchair (made in Pennsylvania) off of Craiglist for $35. LOVE it! ... My sister-in-love also bought me a changing table (very similar to the one I had on my baby registry) off of Craiglist for $10. LOVE it! 


I personally feel that God molded and shaped me into being a hand-me-down kind of girl in order for me to be able to be content during this period of my life where my husband and I are all the more wise for graciously accepting what we can't afford to purchase on our own. 
There's really no room for pride when you're a hand-me-down/second-hand type of person. 
There's only room for appreciation. 

The Joys of Breastfeeding

This evening my beloved and I will be attending a 2 hour educational course on the joys and delights of breastfeeding.
This is a part of post-pregnancy that I'm semi-looking forward to.
I hope and pray that I'm one of those women who's able to say, "It just felt so natural. The baby latched on immediately and we never experienced any bumps in the road."
(I only know one or two women who are able to say that, by the way.)
Most women I know have either chosen not to breastfeed because it's an inconvenience to them OR had major issues with it and gave up before making any real progress.
I, my friends, am ready to persevere, come what may! Which is exactly why I registered for this evening's course.


Funny sidenote:
During our car ride over to his mom's house yesterday (we always have the most random conversations in our car) Jon says, "Are they gonna make you take off your shirt in this class? I mean, they're not gonna have you do anything weird like that, right?"
His question/concern made me laugh for two reasons:
#1. I pictured the instructor telling us moms-to-be to take off our shirts. Then I pictured me getting up and awkwardly leaving the class.
&
#2. Not gonna lie, for a second I wondered the very same thing. Then I remembered (duh!) that even if there was a minute possibility of that actually happening, I am my own person and i'd laugh in the face of someone who tried to get me to participate in "hands-on breastfeeding practice." WEIRD!


Anyway, it was a very random comment from my very cute husband who added "I am not playing, we will leave that class if they tell you to do something like that. I am not down for that."


Ha!
Love him!


I am definitely looking forward to equipping myself with some breastfeeding knowledge. I will be taking mental notes AND written notes.
Also, I love that Juan's coming with me! I initially figured he wouldn't be interested in tagging along, but he actually wants to learn with me. (MAJOR brownie points for him!!) I think what's drawing him in the most is the fact that breastfeeding is way cheaper than buying formula. As a young married couple with one income at the moment, cheaper is the way we wanna go!
Also, breastmilk is the best milk for baby. We can't go wrong.
I mean, who cares if your nipples get raw and you have to use ice packs and ointment for relief? And who cares if your boobs will never look the same again? Does it really matter that I'll have to use nursing pads to keep the milk from leaking through my shirts?
{sigh}
I will persevere because it's all for a great cause, my friends! My baby's health is more than worth it.

By the way, I recently read on A Cup of Jo that this book is great. Have any of you lovely ladies read it?

Do any of you mothers have tips/advice for me?
I'd love to hear!


(By "tips" I do not mean your personal breastfeeding horror stories. Spare me, please. I've heard enough of those to last me a lifetime.)


Hope you're all having a great Thursday!