Shower Pt. 1 & Major Moby FAIL.

Hey there, folksies!

Here's the first peek into my baby shower.

(If I were my normal energetic self I would just get on here and post as many photos as I possibly could, but I'm lacking in the energy department these days.)

Allow me to introduce you to my beloved friend, Zenaida, who offered to host the shower for me. 

{Thank you SO much, Zee! Love you, girl!}

They honored my request: no cake, only cuppycakes!

(Thank you to my momma-in-love and her friend, Erica, for baking these with tons of love.)

When God blessed me with my husband, He also blessed me with an incredible sister. She is one of the most loving and caring women I know. . . also very bright & beautiful & genuine. I love her! 

Pardon the not-so-good lighting, but that right there is a Moby Wrap. (Only an expecting mom would be as excited about this thing as I am.)

So excited that I went home and practiced on a teddy bear. 

And failed epically. 

Judging by this picture, I'm completely unfit to be a mother. 

This is teddy abuse! 

Imagine my baby in that position. . . she'd hate me. 

I need to learn how to wrap this thing the right way. It is SO not as easy at it seems. 

Anywho, I shall continue sharing some more of our shower photos with you on the next episode of "Mommy has issues with Moby Wraps and needs an intervention ASAP."

Our Cali Baby Shower

We were showered with love here in Cali today, 

and I rediscovered my love for rubber duckies. 

There really is no better feeling than to love and be loved. 

More photos to come. . . 

Hope you all are having a beautiful weekend!

34 weeks of PURE BLISS!

These last few nights have been crammed with tossing and turning, crazy vivid dreams, one too many trips to the potty, and a minimal amount of sleep.
After all, who needs sleep when you're 8 1/2 months pregnant? "Not I!' said the fly.

Each morning I've woken up in total Oscar the Grouch mode, if you can even call it waking up. 

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I spend a whole lot of time looking over at my husband, trying to remember what it feels like to sleep soundly. He has no problem sleeping like a rock each and every night. That may have something to do with the fact that he works super hard almost every day of his life.

Then again, I work hard too, goshdarnit!
Don't get me wrong, I am in no way belittling my husband's efforts. He and I are on totally different levels when it comes to working. My work is mostly unseen and often unnoticed (baby developing in belly, organized closet, clean fridge...)
It seems unfair that I would have to suffer the fate of tossing and turning all night long. Why me?

I read a blog post the other day, by Denise over at Paper Angels, that has helped me rethink how I've felt lately. The post was all about Sir Norman Anderson. If you've never read about him, go read that post and you'll get why it made me change my thinking ways.

Instead of asking "Why me?" I should ask, "Why not me?"

Suffering produces perseverance (Romans 5:3),
and my suffering has been quite minimal as compared to the suffering of so many other pregnant women.

What I really need to do is shut my pie hole and keep it movin'. Life is truly not that hard.

So, yesterday I had my 34 week doctor's appointment and I as usual asked her a ton of questions about everything and anything that popped into my head, including (but not limited to) "What's a mucus plug?" and "How does the whole epidural thing work?"

She's such a patient woman and answers every question thoroughly. She's pretty awesome.

She had a question for me that I really didn't know how to answer: "So, have you felt any contractions lately?"

"Uhhhh. I dunno. I really don't know what a contraction feels like."

She then went on to explain, in detail, how it would feel: "At this point in your pregnancy you'd feel more of a tightening of your entire stomach, right where your uterus is located. It would be more tightening than pain. Ultimately a contraction feels like a really bad menstrual cramp. Do you usually get menstrual cramps when you're on your period?"

"Oh heck yes."

"Well, that's ultimately what it'll feel like... just worse."

"Great."

So, that convo with my doctor went really well, as far as me becoming better informed. I'm still not sure if I've felt a contraction yet. I've had so many different aches and pains, they're all beginning to feel the same to me these days. I just cringe until the cramp/pain passes... and continue on with my life.

I've heard from quite a few women that their contractions felt like they had a horrible case of diarrhea. . .
Like, the kind that makes you pray to God for healing.
JOY.

At church last night, one friend shared that she had no idea she was having contractions. She thought it was only a case of really bad gas... when she finally decided to go to the hospital she found out she was already 10 centimeters dilated.
I literally took her hand, laid it on my head, and prayed a quick prayer that God would give me the same experience. =)

So, the doctor says i'm healthy and all of my aches and pains are normal... and things'll only get more and more uncomfortable as the days go by (thanks for the encouragement, doc!)

Well whaddaya know! I'm actually getting one of those menstrual pains right now. Boo! .... Okay, it's almost gone. . . aaaaand it's gone. Maybe that was a contraction? ugh. Whatev. Who knows. 


The worst is yet to come, folks! .... but there will be a great reward that I'm very much looking forward to!

{This somewhat depressing post calls for a happy picture! 

This was taken in my room back at my parents' home in New York. 

I'm smiling like this on the inside right now. I really am.}

fridge magnet madness

I woke up this morning, sauntered over to our fridge, grabbed the door handle and took a moment to stare at what was before me.

(Those pictures, by the way, are from a game we played at my bridal shower last August.)

For the bagillionth time I thought to myself, "I need to get some cute magnets."

Have you ever been to one of those homes where the person you're visiting has the cutest looking fridge door ever?

Maybe you're that person. 

I wanna be that person too, simply because I like it when things look pretty. 

Yet, as we all know, the cuteness of the fridge door is nowhere near as important as say scrubbing the bathtub or sorting through the mail, or vacuuming, etc. 

I sound like a broken record when it comes to listing my responsibilities in our home, I know... but I've made some HUGE progress within this last week.

I literally spent 5 years pairing my husband's socks. 

I'm convinced that my husband has more socks than anyone on the face of this planet. He doesn't need his own sock drawer; what he needs is his own sock closet.

Some had seen better days and were ready to greet the trash can. 

I'm definitely exaggerating about the sock closet thing, but anyway, it did take forever to do... but it also turned out to be therapeutic in a sense. Matching socks in itself is boring, but accomplishing the boring task of matching 1.1 million socks is definitely a victory worth mentioning!

A basketful of beauty!

Okay, back to the fridge. 

On my way to visit the Amish Country in Lancaster, Pennsylvania last summer (if you've never been there and you enjoy the country cozy scene, then do yourself a favor and go visit!) I bought this fridge magnet that i've grown to love. 

Now if that doesn't sum us up in one statement, then I don't know what would!

Anyway, I'm on a mission to make my fridge door cute. 

I have yet to come across fridge magnets worth buying (preferably ones that don't cost an arm and a leg. I've seen some really really cute ones that were priced as if they were made of fine gems... gosh.)

I'm thinkin' I'll wait until baby arrives, print a few photos of her and stick 'em on there somewhere. That'll automatically add a ton of cuteness to our fridge door, I'm sure. 

Until then I'll keep staring at the sheet listing each of the over-the-counter medications that are acceptable for me to use while pregnant... and our friends' save the date magnet that may just end up staying there forever... and a bunch of pictures of my husband and I because we can't get enough of ourselves now, can we? ... and those cheap little plastic magnets that slide down and fall off every once in a while.
You really do get what you pay for, it seems. 

Moral of this post:
There is no moral. Just go out and spend big bucks on some amazing fridge magnets. 

It'll make your home a better place. 

I've got peace like a river in my soul.

If you were to hop in a helicopter and hover above our apartment complex you'd see that the complex is designed in the shape of a semicircle, with a courtyard smack in the middle.
I really appreciate this design because it gives the place a cozier feel. When we leave our windows and balcony door open we can hear neighbors conversing in their living rooms, and kiddies squealing for joy as they ride their tricycles in the courtyard, and the trickling of the water flowing in the fountain.

{A special thank you to the neighbor who just decided to go out on his balcony and smoke. Now my bedroom is filled with the smell of cigarettes. Such a dream crusher.}

Anyway, today, instead of pleasant conversations, i've heard a whole lot of yelling.
Moms yelling at their kids, wives yelling at their husbands,and kids yelling at their siblings.
Swell. Just swell.

As I sit here in the comfort of our bedroom, inhaling second hand smoke and enjoying my husband's company, i'm reminded that peace in the home comes from God.

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In the words of one of my former professors: "It's just that plain and just that simple."

Sure my husband and I have our disagreements and arguments, but they're always short-lived.
At the end of the day we enjoy peace in abundance in our little home,
and it's all thanks to God.

". . .The Lord blesses His people with peace." -Psalm 29:11

May I share all of my pregnancy symptoms with you?

I May? Why, thank you!

Just a suggestion:

If you're a male reader, you may wanna stop here. 

If you're a female reader who practices extreme privacy and blushes when speaking about the female body, then you may wanna stop here as well.  


I will now proceed to be very blunt. Tasteful, yet blunt.

I'll start from the beginning and share with you the things I've gone through physically.

1. It all began with a missed period. 
I was a day late and I eagerly took a pregnancy test and saw the most faint 2nd line ever, but knew for sure I was pregnant.

At around this same time, both Jon and I developed the worst cold/flu ever. For 3 days straight neither of us had the energy to get up off of the couch. The simple act of walking to the bathroom felt like a journey and a half. We were miserable.

Then, Jon got better and I stayed sick. I'm sure pregnancy played a big part in my body not recuperating as quickly.

2. The emotional roller coaster rides intensified. 
I had been an easily angered cry baby for a few weeks before I discovered I was pregnant, and all of that just grew worse after the pregnancy test. (Poor husband.)

3. My appetite waved goodbye. 
Those first few months were really rough for me. I'd feel really hungry and make myself a nice little meal, then after just a few bites I'd feel full. It was the most frustrating thing ever! I soon learned that that was normal for pregnancy, so I just dealt with it and ate as much as my stomach would allow.

4. My bras became tighter. 
One of the first noticeable outward changes was an increase in bra size. I welcomed this change with open arms.
Except, it came at a price: pain, swelling, and sensitivity. The pain was the worst at night.
This lasted for about a month or so (I'm guesstimating here. I don't remember the exact time frame) and soon I was able to relax and go bra shopping. Exciting! I know.

5. Lower back pain came to out to play, accompanied by pain in my tail bone and pubic bone. 
Once, when I was a little girl, I was playing on an adult bike and slid down off the seat, landing right onto the bike bar.
Let's just say that was painful to the 10th power.
When you're pregnant, your pubic bone immediately begins to adjust, widening and making way for the baby to enter the world. For me, it has felt about as joyous as sliding down onto that bike bar.
The pain was most present during the first few months, then totally disappeared until about a week ago.
It hurts the absolute most at night.

The same goes for the tail bone pain. I fell down the stairs in my home a few years ago and it took my tail bone close to a month to completely recover. Each time I sat down it was PAINFUL. That's pretty much how it felt when I became pregnant. Getting up and sitting down were the worst times ever.

All of these pains occur because the insides of your body are making room for baby.
Although, at the time, I had no growth in the stomach area, I did have major changes going on inside, and felt very very pregnant.

6. Fatigue took over.
Feeling sleepy all the time pretty much sucks. My choice of outfits during that time were definitely a reflection of how I felt.

This was on my way to a church meeting. Comfort was obviously way more important to me than looks.

 I broke out of my comfort shell at about the 3 month mark. 

7. Unable to stand on my feet for longer than 15 minutes without feeling nauseous, weak and dizzy.
This meant no dish washing, no cooking, hardly any cleaning, and just a whole lot of sitting! Anything that involved standing was way too hard for me to accomplish. I hated it! This came to an end at around the 2 1/2 month mark.

8. My appetite returned and doubled. 
I started craving watermelon, grapes, and green apples like crazay.
I also found it completely necessary to buy an insanely large jar of pickles from Costco. Pickles really are a popular craving amongst pregnant women.

I also started craving whatever yummy smelling/looking things I saw other people eating. This is still in full effect. Just yesterday I smelled a delicious cup of Starbucks coffee and HAD to take a trip to Starbucks to get some coffee. No other coffee would suffice. I wanted Starbucks and I wanted it now! =)

Cheeseburgers and chocolate have also become my best friends, but you know that already.

9. Leg cramps, butt cramps, and other cramps decided to join the party in Becky's body.
These were a daily pain in the butt (literally) in the beginning of pregnancy, and sort of left me alone midway through. They are now back, but not half as bad as they were before. Thank goodness! (I may be speaking too soon.)
Now, other cramps have set in.
They're more like sudden cramps on the sides of my lower abdomen. My doctor warned me of them and told me not to worry. She said they would be my body's natural response to my growing uterus.
Thanks, body!

10. Swelling feet.
Oddly enough, this happened only while I was visiting New York, and may have had something to do with the sweltering heat. Soaking my tootsies in Epsom Salt was a rapid fix to this problem.
The swelling has reoccured every now and then but never as bad as it was in NY.

There are a bunch of other symptoms I've experienced. Some would be inappropriate to share on this here blog, and others are discomforts that are a given while pregnant: inability to sleep comfortably through the night, feeling bloated and extra heavy in the belly area (for obvious reasons,) mood swings, the insane ability to smell anything and everything (including other peoples' sweaty armpits during worship at church, while hands were lifted high. Ohhhh man, not fun.)... etc.

Thankfully, I never got any headaches or stretch marks. (phew!) This may or may not have had something to do with the fact that I drink a ton of water (which definitely contributes to your skin's elasticity) and have used cocoa butter/vitamin E lotion like mad.
Some women just can't avoid the whole stretch mark thing. It happens.
It may change for me next time around.

My husband has told me multiple times throughout this pregnancy,
"Babe, even if you gain a bunch of weight and a bunch of stretch marks, I'll still think you're beautiful. The fact that you're carrying around my child makes you the most beautiful woman in the world to me."

As my mom always says of my husband, "He sure knows how to say the right things, doesn't he?"

Yes, he does, and i'm very grateful.

I hope you've enjoyed my little recap!

It's official, folks!

We are approaching the finish line and I'm feeling pretty darn good about it! 

Can you tell?

Not really. I know. 

Today I feel pretty normal. My preggo normal, that is. 

Which means I'm aching in places I wish I wasn't. . . but whatev. Such is life. There's nothing I can do but deal with it and hope that time flies.

That's happy me, waiting at the Bart station. We were on our way to San Francisco to hang and have dinner with some fam.
We ended up doing way more walking than expected, and my pelvis wasn't happy, but I'm sure baby appreciated the walk. I imagine it feels pretty soothing for her. . . or maybe she hates it. Who knows.
What I do know is that she's developed this ability to make me feel like I have an alien inside of me. Her movements are growing stronger and stronger.
Today, during church, I put my husband's hand on my stomach so he'd be able to feel the way she was moving. His eyes grew big and he was in total shock at how much it felt like the baby was trying to somehow get out of my stomach.
As amazing as it feels and as much as I'm grateful that I get to experience this, sometimes it gets to me and I have no other option but to do what I've always done when life becomes a tad bit overwhelming: call my mommy and whine.

So, that's exactly what I did..
And this is pretty much how our convo began:

[phone rings. mom answers.]

Me: "Mooooommmm."

Mom: "What's the matter, baby girl?"

Me: "I don't wanna be pregnant anymore."

Mom: [chuckles] "It's almost over. Don't you worry."

Me: "Well, I need this to end as soon as possible because it feels like I have an alien inside of me."

Mom: "Well tell God all about it. Tell Him you want it to be over as soon as it can be. . . and you'll be okay."

My mom always points me to God. It's a great motherly strategy that I plan on using with each of my children, especially when I'm tired of hearing them complain. =)

So, yes folks, i'm officially tired of being pregnant.
However, I'm also becoming more and more excited to meet my baby. So, I guess it's a healthy mix of emotions I'm feeling right now.
I'm also feeling a ton of heartburn, but that's beside the point.

Are you joking??

I, like most other people in this world, enjoy laughing.

With that said, I grew up in a home where laughter was (and still is) highly valued.
We may not have always had perfect serenity and tranquility in our home environment (my dad is a spunky man and my mom is a mix between stubborn and feisty) but, we did have laughter and a whole lot of love.

{Now, excuse me while I go off on what seems to be a tangent. It'll all come together in the end. Promise.}

One cool skill that I learned from my dad is how to be observant. The man notices things that no normal person would ever notice.
My mom, on the other hand, notices nothing.
My dad's hobby is carpentry; he makes things from nothing all the time, and my mother will literally walk past an entire china cabinet that he created (she did this the other day) without ever noticing that it's there.

So, my dad is the observant one and my mom is the oblivious one, and this causes friction in their relationship at times.
The key, though, to making up for vast differences in relationships (and this i've learned from observing my parents) is to NOT take everything to heart.
My mom is a pro at picking her battles; she can overlook an offense like nobody's business.

Lately I've been trying to develop that particular skill of overlooking an offense. Especially because, as a woman in the final stages of pregnancy, I am constantly walking on thinner than thin emotional ice.
My eyes can fill up with tears at the drop of a dime.
If I don't try to NOT be offended all the time, then I can easily spend 90% of my day feeling hurt and upset.

This is where laughter comes in.
{A merry heart doeth good like a medicine. -Proverbs 17:22}

This is also where my beloved husband comes in.

He enjoys joking around. He and his closest friends are top notch jokesters. They love to laugh and their bond is so strong that they can easily make fun of each other and completely laugh it off all in one breath.
I love that about them.

{The husband with 2 of his close friends.}

Jon and I share that same type of bond, except, it's harder for me to laugh things off these days.
However, I've made it a point to muster up all of the good sense of humor that is left within my overly hormonal self, and allow myself to laugh when I know he's only joking.

I'll give you an example:

A few nights ago I was getting ready for bed and Jon was in bed already. He uses one pillow and, now that I'm preggo, I use four.
(Sidenote: I was wearing my granny nightgown that night.)

So the joking begins:

Jon: "Do you want me to buy like 5 more pillows for you? Cuz I think you need more."

{This is where I immediately began to feel the first signs of being totally offended.}

Jon: {completely oblivious as to how I feel, continues joking-} "All I'm doing is recognizing your lack. . . or maybe you want just another granny nightgown? Not gonna happen. . . {shakes his head} That'd be the end of me."

At that point I had two options:

1. Listen to my sensitive heart and allow myself to feel dumb for using so many pillows, and needy for having to wear my granny pajammies in order to feel comfortable... and unattractive because my husband hates my granny jammies.

or

2. Giggle and tell him to leave me alone.

THANK THE GOOD LORD, I giggled. I recognized that I was about to become overly emotional over nothing and chose to direct my heart into being lighthearted along with him.

It totally worked! It was no big deal. Just another one of his poking-fun-at-my-wife sessions and I must admit, it was kinda funny.

I'm learning that laughter is a healing balm. If used wisely, it can relieve hurt and help you appreciate the bright side.
Of course, there's always a time and a place for laughter. Some situations are just not laughable,
but that's a whole different topic.

So, today, if you're feeling overwhelmed or overly emotional (you're not alone, trust me!) just try to appreciate the funny things in life. Don't allow yourself to be overwhelmed by your temporary feelings. Choose to smile and choose to laugh, because laughter is indeed a very good medicine.

Random Photo: A moment of laughter with my nieces pieces. 

If you're not tired of me just yet...

Then you may wanna go and take a peek at my guest post over at Chelsea's Organized Mess today. =)

It's all about long distance lovin'! 

There were quite a few pessimists who doubted Jon & I would ever actually survive the trials of being in a long distance relationship, much less get married, but we proved them wrong now, didn't we? 

Enjoy the read and, if you happen to find yourselves in the same shoes we were in, be encouraged! 

A pile of preggo talk

For the last 5 days I've dealt with the pain of my pelvic area widening to make room for the baby. For those of you who've never felt this pain before, the best I can do to describe it is to say that it feels like I was forced to do the split. It's a pleasant blend of constant aching, a few sharp twinges here and there, and just plain ol' soreness.

It's wonderful.

Ironically, I've had a ton of energy these last few days. So, my body hurts like heck and I have an energy rush on a daily basis. The result? I've been pushing myself to clean. It actually helps a whole lot when I keep my hands busy; it takes my mind off of the fact that I can't walk like a normal person anymore (the preggo waddle is in full effect, people!) and helps me to focus on more important things. . . things like dirty dishes, smelly laundry, piles of clean clothing that need to be folded and put away, a few months worth of mail that needs to be sorted, socks that just wanna be paired already, and my makeup/lotion/jewelry mess that needs to be organized.

I guess it's pretty safe to say i'm in nesting mode right now, so I have this major desire to clean and organize the world. There's proof in the fact that our little home is looking way more decent these days. (It's about time!)
My husband came home yesterday and immediately noticed I had washed the dishes. That both made me feel good and made me feel guilty. I felt good because he took notice, and guilty because he noticed. Ha.

Prior to this week it was hard for me to stand at the sink long enough to finish a full load of dishes. We have no dishwasher. I actually didn't grow up with a dishwasher, so that's not a big deal to me, but washing dishes did turn into a major deal once I became pregnant. I wasn't able to stand at the sink for long periods of time without getting a backache or just feeling a burden of pressure in my stomach area. In the beginning stages of pregnancy I couldn't be on my feet for more than 15 minutes at a time without feeling nauseous and slightly dizzy.
Funfunfun!
Thank God those first few months are over. As of right now, I could wash a hundred dishes and feel fine, which is why my husband noticed the empty sink when he walked through the door yesterday. "Looks like someone did the dishes!" he said with a surprising amount of joy in his voice.
At least I get some credit around here.

The Upside:

my appetite is slowly normalizing. I can go for longer periods without food and not turn into a hungry beast.

Another thing I've noticed is that my husband has come to understand his pregnant wife pretty well. Whenever I'm exceptionally whiny or just irritated with life in general, he knows there's only one of two things wrong: either i'm really hungry or i'm really tired.

The Random Side:

It's a good thing he gets to sleep with a 90 year old aching woman trapped in the body of a 25 year old. . . a woman who grimaces and groans each time she turns over in bed at night. If that doesn't make him feel better, I don't know what would!

The Conclusion: 

I know I'll forget all of this lame pregnancy stuff just as soon as they put my baby in my arms. Even now I know that I'd do this all over again in a heartbeat, if it meant having another baby to hold.
I'm in no rush though; three is a very friendly number for now. . .
Just me, Juan, and baby girl.

Time for some pep talk!

A thought that I love to think: 

We are never too old or too untalented to pursue our passions.

2 Perfect examples:

Colonel Sanders- the founder of KFC. 

(sidenote: I love their mashed potatoes & gravy!!)

He started to pursue his dream when he was sixty-five years old and was able to sell KFC for big bucks at the ripe old age of seventy-four. (That's what I'm talkin' about!)

Another person that comes to mind is Grandma Moses. 

She was eighty years old when she became famous for her quaint and cozy paintings. 

{One of Grandma Moses' paintings.}

Both Colonel Sanders and Grandma Moses had one thing in common: they did what they loved to do. Colonel Sanders enjoyed cooking for people, and Grandma Moses enjoyed creating works of art. They put their gifts to good use and ended up blessing people.

I don't know about you guys, but KFC has been a blessing in my life! ... and Grandma Moses' simple paintings brightened peoples' homes and stirred up pleasant memories of the good ol' days. 

I believe that we all have talents, but not everyone knows what their talents are. Some people actually consider themselves completely untalented. That is truly sad, simply because I know that every single one of us has something special to offer those around us. 

Now it may not be something that will gain us fame or millions of dollars, but really, those who go after fame and millions will never be satisfied. 

Money and fame will never satisfy the human heart. 

The key is to find something you love to do, however insignificant it may seem, and pursue that with all your heart. 

If you enjoy writing, then keep a journal, start a blog, write letters to your friends and family, write love notes to your boyfriend/girlfriend, write stories, poetry, essays, or simply keep a notebook to jot down your random thoughts. 

If you love to sing, then consider taking voice lessons, consider joining a choir, consider registering for some music courses at your local college. . . 

The same goes for those "undercover" talents that are not very noticeable to others unless you put them to good use. Maybe you're super skilled at being an encourager. Maybe you are one of the best listeners around. Maybe you have a great way of approaching people and are a pro at starting random conversations that can totally brighten someone's day. 

If you're one of those "undercover" talented people, then use that talent with all your heart: encourage those around you as much as you can, lend a listening ear to someone who's having a really bad day, or start a conversation with that sad looking person you see every day on your way home from work. 

Problem is some of us don't realize we're talented because-

1. We waste our time comparing ourselves to others and feeding our insecurities with thoughts like "Wow, he/she has SO much goin' for them! They are SO talented... I wish I were talented too." {insert pathetic self-pity party face here}

 or 

2. We spend pointless amounts of time wanting talents that we'll never have! 

If you don't have a good singing voice, then accept the fact that you can't sing, stop trying to be the next American Idol winner, and spend some quality time figuring out what exactly you CAN do well. 

Bottom line: We ALL have talents! ... and none of us is too young or too old to put 'em to good use. So don't waste your time moping around, comparing yourself to others and feeling useless. 

Instead, figure out what your talents are and get to using 'em!

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A baby boy & some more laundry

Today was a majorly successful laundry day. Baby and I were able to get 6 loads washed and dried without anyone getting in our way in the laundry room. (Please, curb your excitement for us, folks!)
I say "baby and I" simply because wherever I go, baby goes and whatever I do, baby does. In fact, it made me happy to feel her kick and squirm each time I put in another load. I really felt accompanied by her today. I've gladly interpreted her alertness as a sign that she enjoys doing daddy's dirty laundry. In fact, if she's anything like her dad, she won't be afraid to get her hands dirty... and if she's anything like her mom, she'll enjoy doing laundry. Put two and two together and I'll have myself a little girl who enjoys washing daddy's work clothes! (I have great expectations, I know.)


I am also proud to say that this afternoon, the birth of an itty bitty baby boy has made me a great aunt 4 times over. I'll just repost my excitement-filled facebook status here:
"This afternoon my 1st great nephew was born. Congratulations to mommy, Rachel, the sister I never wanted but the niece i've loved to have! =) Welcome to the world baby Brennen Jacob! This makes me an aunt 13 times over and a great aunt 4 times over. Woohoo! I'm gonna die a great great great great aunt. Yeeaaaahhhh."

It was very cool to be pregnant at the same time. We complained to each other all the time about all the different aches and pains and cravings and emotions we were experiencing. It was also cool to have her text me throughout the labor process last night and earlier today. I wish I could share our whole text conversation with you all, but that wouldn't be very proper of me. There were a whole lot of unmentionables being mentioned. Labor can get pretty nitty gritty. I will, however, share this part; it was one of my favorites: 


"I got the epidural. O M Geeee... it hurts!!!!! But the aftermath is beautiful. No pain whatsoever... This is the life."


Haha. Love it! 


This is Rachel's 2nd child. Her first daughter, whom I had the privilege of naming (I chose the name Zariah Rachelle,) was born 6 years ago. 

4 years later:

Sadly, I'll only be able to see pictures of my newest nephew until my next visit to New York. (The downside of living so far away from my familia.) Either way, I'm glad he was born nice and healthy (7 lbs & 6 ounces) and I'm glad his mom is doing fine. A healthy and smooth labor and delivery is never to be taken for granted. I'm fiercely praying for my own smooth delivery, trust me. 
As a matter of fact, I was giving my baby direct orders this morning: "Okay, baby, Listen to mommy. When it's time to come out I need you to work with me, okay? I wanna push a maximum of 2 times: once for your little head and once for the rest of your precious little body. Will you be obedient and help mommy with that?"
These are the kinds of conversations I have with my child. She's gonna love me, I tell ya. 


I hope you all are having a fabulous Tuesday. I must go fetch my last load from the dryer. Toodles!


Oh! One last thing! Thank you to those who gave me their input on what to do with my closet space dilemma. I appreciate your advice and I think I may just have it covered now. I hope! 

Confidence through Failure

About 6 years ago, while living in New York, I got the itch to become a driver, so I signed up for some lessons at a local driving school.

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After the first 2 lessons I remember my instructors telling me how great of a driver I was and how I would definitely pass the road test.

Just a few days before taking the test I remember my parents asking me, "How do you feel? Are you nervous?" 

"Nope!" was my answer. "Not nervous at all. I just wanna get it over with. I know I'll pass. My instructors have said nothing but good things about my driving."

I had full confidence in my skills, which means a lot when learning to drive in crazy nyc, where rules, common courtesy, and laws mean nothing to most drivers.

A few days later I found myself in a car that was making funny i'm-about-to-break-down noises, with a lady that I had never practiced with before (the secretary of the drivers ed office.) Some brilliant individual had designated her to drive me to my road test. This lady's driving was beyond horrible, to the point where other drivers on the freeway were honking at her. I remember her eating ice cream while driving me to this very important test. I also remember feeling furious that they would assign such an ignoramus to drive me there in a broken down car. 

I immediately began to feel the anxiety build. 

When we arrived the dear woman looked out of her window and spotted the man who would be testing me. With both eyebrows raised she turned to me and said, "Ohh man, that guy who's gonna give you the exam is the boss and he's really mean."

My confidence level plummeted. 

I failed the road test that day. I was nervous beyond measure and forgot to do basic things like put my seatbelt on. . . and not make left turns on red lights. (major fail.)

Needless to say, I felt like a major idiot.

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My road test confidence-turned-insecurity extravaganza is a lesson learned. 

Now that i'm expecting a little one I have absolutely no worries about caring for a baby. I am confident that both my husband and I will be able to handle the task. 

Yet, there are moments when Reality taps me on the shoulder and says, "Hey there, friend. You do know that you are gonna feel completely overwhelmed at times, right? I mean, this is another human being whose life you're totally in charge of, you know?"

I should smack Reality in the face and move on, but it's hard to do that when it's the truth; I will experience meltdowns. Every parent does, right? I mean, none of us has all the answers on how to raise kids and there's definitely no step-by-step guide. 

Yet, this is way different from failing the road test. No matter who tells me "Parenting is HARD. Your kids will drive you crazy...etc" I remain convinced that I will succeed. Reason being, I'm not going into this with total SELF confidence. I'm going into this with a heart full of confidence in my God; He will meet all of my needs and will guide me every step of the way.
"I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go." -Isaiah 48:17

When I make a mistake and fail in this journey called parenting, there will be no one to deny me the title of "parent" as I've been denied the title of "licensed driver." 

I will remain a parent, acknowledge that I indeed do not know it all, and ask God to help me get through the rough patches without pulling my hair out or going gray. 

I totally expect parenting to be a challenge, and i'm so ready to face it.

Sand, fire, & sweets

This weekend was great.
If I had paid any type of attention to the aches and pains in my body, then I would've stayed home all weekend and wallowed in a pit of self-pity.
Instead, On Saturday I chose to ignore my body and accompany my husband and our church youth group on a trip to the ocean. Ocean Beach, San Francisco that is.

I learned one new thing just as soon as we arrived and made our way out onto the shore: walking on sand does not, I repeat, does not feel good when you are in the final stages of pregnancy. It makes you feel pain in muscles that you never even knew existed.
Either way, I smiled for a pic.

San Francisco doesn't really have great beach weather in the summer months. Its sunniest beach months are supposed to be September and October, but we weren't there to wear our bikinis and speedos and catch some rays; we were there for a bonfire.
So, the fact that it was foggy and chilly made it perfect weather for a big ol' fire.

I sat on my throne almost the entire time, thanks to my husband who stopped at Walmart to buy me a beach chair. That thing saved my life! If I had had to get up and down off of a blanket on the sand I would've been SO sore today. I'm sore as it is, and I didn't really do much walking. This thing called pregnancy ain't easy, folks!
My beloved made me a few s'mores. He sure does know the way to my heart.

To make the weekend even better, I came home from Sunday service bearing gifts. Three different friends gave me some deliciousness out of the goodness of their hearts. One friend wasn't able to make it to church but sent some brownies for me, with her husband. They were individually wrapped and labeled: "Becky" "Juan" and "Baby" ... Adorable! If Juan is quick with it, he'll get to eat his. If not, all three will be for Becky and Baby. Yay! (I'm allowed to be selfish when it comes to chocolate.)
The other 2 friends sent us home with three cupcakes from a nearby candy shop/bakery: one red velvet, one vanilla coconut, and one chocolate marshmallow.

When people give me gifts, no matter how small, it makes me feel loved.
I truly believe that it's not the cost of the gift that matters, as long as the gift comes from the heart.
Today my body is aching, but I feel so loved.

In the words of our pastor: "Focusing on what God is doing leads to thanksgiving; focusing on what God isn't doing leads to murmuring. Forget about what God isn't doing, focus on what He's doing and give Him thanks!"

Thank you, God, for blessing me with sweet friends, sweet hangout sessions, and sweet sweets.

Suggestions, please!

I'd like to take a moment to visualize the walk-in closet space I wish I had for my daughter's belongings. 

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For this season in our lives God has blessed us with the apartment that we are living in now. The size is just right for the two of us, but it's hard to imagine having a third little person's clothing/furniture/accessories here without feeling cramped.

I've had such a difficult time organizing our closet space so that it fits all of our clothing, shoes, etc. 

When we found out we had a baby on the way I felt a momentary sense of panic. I had no idea how we were gonna be able to "fit" our daughter into our home. We definitely have space for her. If we lived in a hole in a wall, we'd still have space for her; she herself is in no way inconveniencing us. 

However, we don't know where the heck we're gonna put all of her stuff! Jon is not as concerned about it as I am. He's a man's man. He could care less where things go, as long as they're somewhat accessible. 

I, on the other hand, like for things to not only be accessible but organized AND pleasing to the eye. 

With that said, this is the closet space that we have for our baby right now. 

We made our way to Target and picked out this portable closet. We live in a one bedroom apartment, and in that one bedroom we have one fairly large closet, a sort of roomy dresser, and this portable closet. Our larger closet is filled to overflowing. In fact, it has overflowed onto our floor space, which means we have not a few clothing piles goin' on {sigh.} Our dresser is half ours and half baby's. She has 2 large drawers' worth of onesies and pants and other articles of clothing. 

I desperately need to make the most of the space we have, 

which is why I'm posting about this today. I'd like your input! I don't wanna pull my hair out over this or  start to view our small living space as an inconvenience. I truly am grateful for our home and I enjoy living here. It's just such a challenge to make room for all of our belongings. Which, is actually a blessing because it means we have everything we need, and some. 

On the photo I've marked off areas where I know I could definitely fit more clothing, somehow. I know there are hangers available for this type of thing, but where would I buy such magical baby hangers? And, how do I go about stacking bins or baskets on those shelves without making it a huge pain to get things in and out of there? Our apartment isn't fully furnished yet, so we do have some more room to put some sort of small storage unit, if necessary. Are any of you organization experts or just plain ol' experienced in making small spaces work? Please, help me if you are! I'd love to hear your input. 

Thank you, darlings! 

SCORE!!

Jon stopped on his way home from work last week and bought me a dozen of these chocolate cuppycakes. (Smart, smart man!) 

They were finger lickin' good! SO good that it took me less than a few days to finish them. Shame on me.

Anywho, I had my 8 month appointment today and I was dreading it like crazay! I figured I had probably gained a solid one hundred pounds since last seeing my doctor. I could just hear her lecturing me: "You really need to watch what you eat... You should do more exercise... You have such a small frame, this major weight gain is putting too much pressure on your body..."
Trust me, I was not in the mood to be lectured. I was ready with all kinds of responses, one of them being, "Listen, doc. When YOU get pregnant and YOU'RE craving cheeseburgers and chocolate nonstop, then YOU give ME a call and let me know how it feels to deny yourself those cravings!"

When I got to the office, the sweet medical assistant called me in and led me to the scale. I didn't even bother to slip off my sandals or take off my sweater. My mother-in-love was behind me with a smile on her face; she knew I wasn't happy about my impending doom.
The numbers on the scale climbed up & up & up... and finally stopped at 137.1 lbs. {phew!} Close call!
This time I'd gained 6 pounds in 4 weeks. Not so bad.
Last appointment I had gained 12 pounds in 6 weeks. (That's 2 pounds per week, for those of you who hated math in elementary school.)

So, I had done a little better for myself this time around.
I ate carrots and apples as in-between meal snacks.
I ate veggies with nearly every meal. I drank water like it was goin' out of style, and watered down every glass of juice.
I did some prenatal pilates here and there, not regularly but who cares.
I ate oatmeal for breakfast, and even for dinner a few nights.
Oh, and I stuffed my face with chocolate cupcakes. I'm sure that helped a whole lot too!

All in all I guess my tiny bits of effort made a big difference. Yippee!

The Baby Blues.

This has been me lately:

This Saturday I'll reach my 8 month mark. (Note the lack of excitement in both the picture and that last sentence.)
Being pregnant, as i've told a few of my friends and family, is no longer cute. As soon as I hit that 37 week safety period, i'll be ready to have this baby of mine! I would say I'm ready now, but of course I'm not. I would never want her to arrive this early. What I want is for her to stay in there until she can make her grand entrance into this world in a smooth and healthy manner.
In the meantime, I'll continue to force myself to smile through all of the discomforts that pregnancy brings.

The most obvious symptom I've been experiencing lately has been the blues.
I've cried more in these last 4 days than I have this entire year put together. I literally cannot control the tears. If my husband says anything that's remotely harsh, even in the most miniscule way, the floodgates immediately open wide. It's ridiculous and it annoys me to no end.
When Jon sees me in tears his first question is always, "Babe, what's wrong?" and my answer has way too often been, "I don't knooow {sob::hiccup::sigh}"

Oh, the perks of being pregnant!
They are endless indeed.
A few things keep me going strong: The strength that God gives me, the knowledge that I'm not the first nor will I be the last to experience all of this pregnancy drama, and my patient husband.
Of course, he's not perfect, and he does lose his patience at times, but I would too if I had to deal with me on a daily basis.
I drive my own self crazy as it is.

Fortunately, our little bundle will be here soon enough, and when that time comes I'll have other things to cry about, like the fact that I won't get to sleep through the night anymore. JOY!

Yesterday, at 31 weeks & 4 days. 

One of the most comfortable things i've tried on in a long time, thanks to Forever 21. Too bad I didn't buy it. =) I'm finally becoming a pro at liking things and NOT buying them. Thank God! 

Thoughts on dating, being single, and good ol' high school days.

Since I became pregnant i've had the most vivid dreams ever. I hear this is very common amongst pregnant women.
Anywho, last night I had a dream that took me back, all the way back, to my junior year in high school.

Sidenote: While most of my friends in high school were prancing around with their teenage lovers, I (quite sadly) was unable to do the same. I desperately wanted a boyfriend or just a boy to be interested in me, but it took a looong while for guys to start looking my way. I was a nerdy looking high schooler well through my freshman and sophomore year. MAJOR nerd. Here's proof:

{Sorry for the poor quality. I was a big fan of disposable cameras back then.}

 Yes, that's me on the left. I had cut my bangs just a tad bit too short, and yes, those spectacles were pretty round and amazing. I did have lipstick on though! I was definitely trying!

Naturally I did not receive much attention from boys, which in hindsight, was better for me because most teenage boys are hormonal disasters waiting to take advantage of the first girl who gives them the right-of-way. So, I now know I missed out on nothing.
However, it was a struggle for me to get through my early teenage years. I'll have to share more pictures in the future to give you an idea of exactly why. Let's just say I was your classic case of nerdiest/dorkiest duckling. The photo above is proof enough for now.

Late in my Junior year was when the fellas started to take notice of me, and I absolutely loved the feeling of finally being recognized as pretty. Yet, the guys that liked me just so happened to be seasoned in the dating arena and I found myself not knowing how to respond to that.
So, I did what I thought was safest: I dated 3 at a time.
I was not about to let them trample all over me! I wanted to have the upper hand! I felt most secure knowing that I always had a backup plan a.k.a another guy on the side.
Red Flag Alert!! If you're ever dating more than one person because you don't feel secure with any of them, then you should probably STOP dating all of them. Period.
My scheme worked for a while, until the three of them found out about each other. Major fail; lesson learned.

Still, one of them chose to stick around longer than the others, and I fell into the deepest infatuation with this guy. I won't mention his name, but I will say that he was dreamy. haha. He had the looks to melt any teenage girl's heart but he sho did lack in the character department! (How many of you know that CHARACTER is way more important than GOOD LOOKS? It's the harsh reality but 'tis true!) He was a smooth talkin' genius, and your typical "playa." The irony of it all was that I knew better than to take him seriously, but I let my heart lead me into all kinds of strong emotions for him anyway.

This same guy starred in my dream last night.
In the dream I found myself standing in front of my parents' home in New York, waiting to be picked up by him. Instead I watched as he pulled up to the house next door and picked up another girl. It was summertime and they were dressed for the beach.
The girl ran over to his car and hopped in as I looked on in agony.
There I stood, dressed for the beach too, in front of my parents' home, feeling more than crushed. I was devastated.
Then my mom came out of the house, walked over to his car and gave him a piece of her mind. (Typical mom of mine! She even defends me in my dreams!)
Next thing I know, the beach babes had driven away without me, but my Dad was next to me. He sensed my pain, put his arm around me and led me up the stairs and into our home.

As silly as it seems, writing about this brings tears to my eyes. The dream was SO real because my real-life self can totally relate to how I felt in the dream.
I spent so much of my teenage life crying over guys that weren't right for me. My parents can attest to that fact. It was really tough for me to keep my heart from feeling so strongly for all the wrong guys.
Time after time I fell for the type of guy who should never have had the pleasure of dating me in the first place. I say that with all humility. I was a good girl and they knew it. First and Foremost, they knew my intentions were not to have sex with them, and that served as a repellant in many ways. As soon as they realized I wasn't about to give in, they would just cut me off. This happened time after time after time.
They would give me their sympathy break up speech: "Becky, you're a really great girl and you're gonna find a really good guy someday, but that guy isn't me. You have so many good things going for you. . . and I'm not the kind of guy you want in your life." Just thinking about those speeches make me laugh. The reality is, whether I liked it or not, they were SO right!
I did deserve better!

It would take 8 years for God to bring the right one into my life, but my husband was worth the wait.

Don't get me wrong, while waiting for Mr. Right, I suffered through distress, feelings of loneliness, major frustration, and lack of faith that led me to think thoughts like, "Maybe God doesn't have someone special out there for me."
People told me I was "too picky" and I was wrong for wanting "the perfect guy to come along."
I ignored them. I knew in my heart that what I wanted wasn't perfection, but sincerity. I wanted to meet the one who would sincerely love me, respect me, and treasure me.

I honestly don't know why I felt the urge to share all of this with you today, but I do hope that it serves as an encouragement for at least a few of you.
I have a soft spot in my heart for those of you who are single and struggling with the frustration that comes along with feeling discouraged about your current status. I know exactly how that feels. Don't let yourself drown in sorrow or self-pity.
That really is a waste of time.
Instead, choose to thrive in your current situation. You are far too precious to feel depressed about life. . . and, if I were you, I'd spend lots of time asking God to help you stand strong in what feels like a lonely-desert-journey season of your life.
I'm sure there are some of you who are single and enjoying it. Good for you!
I wasn't one of those people though.
I hated it.
I had to learn to trust in God for those things that I was believing for but couldn't see with my own eyes.

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."
-Hebrews 11:1

And just cuz, here's my prom picture. 

Fun fact: I attended an all girls Catholic high school (major ugh!) which meant I had to find my own prom date. So, I chose this fella, despite the fact that some girl in my high school was head over heels infatuated with him. She spread ugly rumors about me during my senior year of high school, simply because I always got to hang out with him and she didn't. Anywho, I made him my date anyway, and he (being the attention seeker that he was) was more than happy to go with me and make another girl jealous. (I promise, my intentions weren't to start drama.) Anywho, after prom the gossip died down and the aforementioned girl actually came up to me and asked me to forgive her for starting rumors. Oh yes, those were the good ol' days, and I don't miss them one bit!

He loves me!

My husband and I sat on the couch, hand in hand, praying together the other day. During his prayer he said something along the lines of, "Lord, thank you for showing your love to me through my wife's love for me." That single sentence warmed my heart! Honestly, at that moment I had no idea he felt the way he did. He really saw God's love for him shine through my actions towards him. How beautiful and how meaningful!

{ALERT!! ALERT!! I'm about to be brutally honest.} 

The best part was that I had no idea I was doing anything special to make him feel loved. I mean, I intentionally do things on a day to day basis that I don't necessarily feel like doing: wash his sweaty, smelly, construction work clothes; clean his facial hair off the bathroom sink without nagging him about it; cook a meal when my body aches and I'm too tired to stand; get out of bed at 5am to search through the clean laundry for 2 pairs of his socks (yes, he wears two pairs for work daily. You have no idea how annoying it is to search for sock pairs when you're too tired to even keep your eyes open... yet this is partly my fault for not pairing the socks beforehand. Can I help it if it's one of my least favorite things to do?) These are things that I sometimes (okay, maybe most of the time) have absolutely no desire to do for him, yet I do them because I know in my heart that love is a verb.

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If you pick and choose as to what you will and won't do, then you're not really loving someone unconditionally. If I stayed in bed and let him find his own socks when I know he's running late, then I'm not loving. If I don't cook a meal for him after he's worked super hard all day, just because I don't feel like it, then I'm not loving. I can easily be unloving. In fact, it often feels more natural to be unloving than it does to be loving. Yet, God is not impressed with my selfishness; what God delights in is a heart that is determined to love, no matter what.

So, for my husband to verbally express, in prayer, that he feels loved by God through me was encouragement beyond measure!

The beauty of all of this is that the feeling is mutual. I feel God's love for me through him. 

After a long day of work, when he's too tired to do anything but sit on the couch and watch reruns on Netflix, instead of coming straight home, he stops and buys me chocolate cupcakes. 

Those of you who've been reading my tweets and status updates on FB know that I've been craving chocolate like a madwoman! The fact that he goes out of his way to do small (yet very meaningful) things for me is definitely seen as an act of deep love, in my eyes. 

Encouragement time! 

Whether you're married or not, in a romantic relationship or not, make it a point to push yourself towards loving those around you with a deep, real deal, selfless kind of love. People will definitely feel grateful, but more importantly God will take notice, and He delights in hearts that love to love.

"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down His life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers."
- 1 John 3:16