Today I woke up with plans to accomplish a million tasks. The days is now gone, and evening is here, and I have not accomplished one single thing.
I should rephrase that. I have accomplished a number of very important things: I've fed the baby, bathed the baby, cuddled with the baby (she wasn't feeling well today,) fed myself, folded and put away her clothing, and called my sister-in-law to have a heart to heart convo (something I haven't done in forever, with my sis-in-law that is.) So yeah.That's where the list ends.
I stayed in my pajamas all day and our apartment is mostly a wreck, just as it was when I got up this morning. Other moms have told me I shouldn't be too hard on myself about keeping everything clean but UGH, I hate looking around and seeing a mess. Thing is, I feel like there's no way in the world I can keep up with my household duties. It seems so unrealistic to have a spotless home and have a baby. . . and have a life!
I spent much of my day pushing aside this major desire to just sit down and express my thoughts/feelings/emotions in a post.
Then, just a few minutes ago I thought, "You know what? Forget cleaning! I'm writing a post. I don't give a rat's patooty about whether or not the dishes are done, the laundry's folded, etc. If I don't express myself right now I'm gonna lose my stinkin' mind!"
So here I am, taking advantage of the fact that Bekah's asleep, and expressing myself.
It feels fabulous! I deserve this. I more than deserve this. I earned this!
I have absolutely no alone time these days (showering doesn't count!) and while it's a beautiful thing to be selfless, I think it's okay for me to be "selfish" right now. Maybe selfish isn't the right word... whatever the case, I need some ME time. Some time to just focus on myself and the things I enjoy doing.
Some would day, "Uhhh, you stay home all day. How much more ME time could you possibly get?" Ummm, earth to anyone who thinks that way... being a housewife & mom, minus a nanny and a housekeeper and a butler and a maid, means you have to fulfill all of those roles yourself. Solo. No help. Okay, maybe some help here and there from your husband, but it's all on you for the most part. That alone can drive a woman crazay.
This is totally me venting. Can you tell?
Anyway, it feels good to vent. I'm glad I did.
Now I'm done.
On to a cool little story...
A few months ago I won a giveaway on sweet Hanna's blog, Bouffe e Bambini. (A cute shirt courtesy Jennifer over at Dear Lillie.) I was all excited when I received the package in the mail (receiving packages always causes some excitement in this here heart if mine.) I held the large envelope in my hand and realized, ummmm, this is kind of light... like really light... almost like an empty type of light. Upon closer examination I realized it was empty. (This was towards the very end of my pregnancy, so I nearly cried about it.) Someone had stolen my shirt!! First I got upset, then I felt sad, then I regained my composure and realized the envelope looked as if it hadn't been tampered with at all. Instead it looked more like the adhesive had worn off on its way to Cali. I decided not to say anything to neither Hanna nor Jennifer because I didn't want either of them to think I was lying just to get another free shirt. So I just dealt with the sad sad loss.
Fast forward a few months- Hanna emails me and randomly asks if I ever received my shirt. I tell her my tear jerker story, she turns around and tells Jennifer from Dear Lillie, Jennifer emails me to sincerely apologize and says she wants to send me another shirt. Same one, same size. . . That totally and completely made my day! Here's a picture of me wearing my prize over the weekend.
(It's a Jane Austen T-shirt that says, "There is no enjoyment like reading." LOVE it!)
Told you this had a happy ending! =)
Thank you so much, Hanna & Jennifer! You ladies truly rock!
Hope you all are having a happy Tuesday!
Labor & Delivery Pt. 4 will be up tomorrow!